From College Station to Conroe, TX

Now... We're...
Back to signs and power lines;
One more long Texas drive,
Just lines and signs and failing minds
'til we're barely alive.
Just flyin' past the roadkill
That dots the Lone Star lanes.
'Til we're checked in
At some grim inn
And can turn off our brains.

- SF

College Station, TX

Houston and the surrounding environs are located in that part of Texas that is indistinguishable from Herndon, VA. There are no cacti; tumbleweeds do not tumble. Branding irons do not sizzle peacefully over campfires. The only chaps to be found are in the kinky section of Saks and go for $1500 a pop.

And yet, people still dress like cowboys. It's like driving through Herndon and discovering everyone is dressed like a streetcar conductor. Even though there have never been streetcars in Herndon. -SF

Kansas City Airport

One of the crappiest airports in America surely, but I don't care- I'm comin' home. (And hey you kids, you're really gonna get it this time- your Mom told me some eyebrow raising stories that will have me getting medieval on your  asses.) -GB

The inevitable...

It was bound to happen- 11 harrowing days through the mind-numbing midwest. Same people, same songs, same bitter resentments festering like a Kenny G solo on an ABBA tune. Apparently, the cast suffered through one rushed tempo too many and well, you see the unfortunate result. It's not so bad though- fortunately, through the timely intervention of one of the Grandmaster's Haitian friends, a quick ceremony involving some sacrificed livestock and a trip to the hardware store and the Grandmaster lives again.... need......brains........brains....

2pm, Pomona, NJ

Although not through a window, this photo has historic import: it was in this theatre, at this piano -indeed at this very spot in the wings- that my glorious compatriot, Grandmaster Blowhole, was stricken with a bout of duodenal rebellion as the proletariat foodstuffs of his stomach liberated themselves from the bourgeois oppression of his stomach.

Our sturdy resident yeoman, Feta McCropolis, was forced to fill in, producing the legend known as 'The Show in the Key of C.'

Manhattan, Kansas- Holiday Inn

Honestly, I'm too dispirited to come up with anything snarky. The picture speaks for itself. I just want to go home. -GB

Overland Park, KS 10-18

For those of you who swig both ways, Bi-Rite can meet all of your Alcoholic Identity Crisis needs.

-blogreg

Rooftop Rorschach

Kansas...Day 17,532 of Infinity

While some of us pass the time eating free cookies, others must resort to more creative forms of entertainment.  To me, this rooftop blot looks like the Ninth Circle of Hell, but perhaps you think it's a butterfly?

-blogreg, Suicidal Version

Overland Park Kansas

"Oh crap, Toto! It looks like we're still in Kansas after all!"

Downside? Kansas. Upside? Free Doubletree cookies for two days. -GB

Sunrise over scenic Salina, Kansas

OK, it's freakin' Kansas again. What can one say. I mean really!?

Why? WHY?????

A trerrible tagedy!

Cincykid

PS  Can I have Jamie's dvd player?

En route to LAX...again...

In a van...6 am,
Everybody lookin' grim,
"To LAX, ASAP!"
We'd be SOL
If we weren't HOV. -SF

La Mort de La Moose

Sad news to report. It seems that our traveling moose, despondent after a lackluster performance engaged in the most sincere form of self-criticism possible. We will try to pick up the pieces and carrion.

 -GB

Dana Point, CA

Sometimes it's even hard for me to complain...and I'm an expert! - SF

Dallas- Gaylord Hotel

Well, I thought that the MGM Grand was the pinnacle of wretched excess but I forgot we were going to the Gaylord Texas-a testament to the notion that America thinks spending untold millions of dollars on a pretentious, kitschy, indoor artifical recreation of the canyonlands is really what America needs. And sure enough, rubes and suits alike flock here in droves to experience this crudely gauche, ersatz natural wonderland (under a dome!) spawned from the boardrooms of cynical corporations hell-bent on separating Americans from their cash no matter how low the barrel of bad taste must be scraped. Loathsome. 

 -GB (footage courtesy of JZ.)

Over the Sierra Nevadas

Wondering why our propellers are not attached to our plane. -SF

Gaylord Texan, Dallas 10-15

This place certainly is gay.  And, like everything in Texas, it's big and stinks of manure.  I half expected to see a giant banner hanging over the hotel entrance that said "DON'T MESS WITH THE GAYLORD!"  A brief stroll 'round the hotel innards provided all the Texas-themed kitsch one could hope for.

After a late-night rendezvous with our brethren in Saginaw, MI, a Texas-sized nap is in order.

-blogreg

The Sordid Streets of Reno

With its legal prostitution, Reno is a haven for those who crave a wildlife style. But careful with the locals, or you could get into a rut. SF (with support from AC and TW.)

11:00am (mt) Circus-Circus, Reno, NV

The 'special' wing for us 'types of guys'. The word 'special' is undergoing an interesting transmogrification in our culture. Soon it will be a deadly insult. -SF

Detroit- again

Once again, Michigan and Detroit have exerted their magnetic pull and once more, we find ourselves lured back to the Motor City, symbol of America's business and engineering failure. This is a city primarily characterized by unimaginably vast regions of burnt-out urban wasteland. At least we are somewhat insulated from direct contact with said wasteland, esconced, as we are, in the cheesy faux-opulence of the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino. The sun is also shining which is more than one can say about dreary old Wichita.  But hey!, at least we managed to escape ICT without incident- a first in Steps history. Maybe this won't suck too badly. Hah! Who am I kidding? -GB