San Antonio, TX

The Tower of America- 2nd largest observation tower in the US. -GB

Sky Harbor Airport, Phoenix

Write your own caption, not that one is necessary. -GB

Scottsdale AZ

CK

An oasis in Scottsdale, AZ

Andy and I ventured forth, trying to find an acceptable eating establishment amongst the plethora of frou-frou dining emporia that litter Old Town. When we spotted the giant inflatable turkey, we knew we had arrived. -GB

Landing in Phoenix

Venice, FL

The already alarming addiction of our pool boy, Aloysius, seems to have reached new and disturbing levels with the stresses of the busy season. -SF

Tampa, FL - Sometimes things work out...

My manservant Adolph and I were able attend some sort of contest put on by the local club of footballers.

Nat'l Airport, 8:00am

There's a story behind this, I'm bettin'. A story of pain, of loss, of rage. A story that involves Security. -SF

Singin' in the Rain

Backstage in a tent at the Sanctuary on Kiawah Island...it rained everything but money and we dashed on and offstage through sheets of dripping pouring precipitation.  Fortunately, we could dry off in comfort at our individual villas, outfitted with palm tree lamps and heron sculptures.  Touch us and get swell!

Any hotel, anywhere

Y'know, sadly, whenever you see this kind of thing, you pretty much know you're in the right place. -SF

en route to National Harbor: 4:00pm

For those unfamiliar, National Harbor is carefully positioned adjacent to the infamous Wilson Bridge at the nexus where hideous rush hour traffic collides with extraordinarily hideous rush hour traffic. It is a quaint and tragic quirk of fate that every arrival time I've ever had here was between 4-5:30pm. -SF

Somewhere in Pennsylvania

Guess where we are. C'mon, just take a wild guess. Hint: DC to PA, from one Chocolate City to another...

Worcester, MA

The lovely view from the Hilton Garden. -GB

Columbus, OH

The view from the Hyatt. Two major problems with this hotel: 1) it's in Columbus Ohio,  2) non-fitted sheets. WTF is it with hotels that do this? Not only are they non-fitted but they are only large enough to tuck a mere 1 cm under the mattress ensuring that when you slip into bed, your weight instantly causes the sheets to pop out from the sides. It's enough to drive me @#%% insane!!! -GB

Suspicious in Saginaw

The Saginaw Four Points Sheraton clearly doesn't trust us.  Why else would they include a price list for everything in the room except the toiletries?  Hmmm.  Better check for surveillance cameras before hopping into the shower.

CK

Election Night, Chicago

In case anyone wonders what it was like to attend "Grant Park JizzFest '08," here's your answer.

My long journey is over.  Thanks for the laughs, guys and gals. -blogreg

On Closer Examination....

Curious. If you examine the Olympic Bi sign things become even more confusing; they seem to be banning the very activity one presumes they advocate!  Hmmmmm.   -SF

Xmas in LA

Seems a tad early. Well at any rate, xmas is coming early for me: I get to go home tomorrow. -GB

LA- bastion of tolerance.

Not only are they down with gay people, it's actually an olympic sport here, apparently:
Olympic Bi? -GB

Los Angeles- sunset over the vast wasteland.

The view from Century City.- GB

Anaheim, CA- The Sheraton courtyard.

Not as serene as it looks. Given its proximity to two major freeways and Disneyland, the traffic noise was constant and not a little annoying. -GB

Entering the City of Angels

It's difficult to describe my excitement at being on an actual LA freeway.- GB

Los Angeles

I never cease to be amazed by the immense, oppressive sprawl that is LA. -GB

Vienna, VA

Not even an unseasonably balmy 75° day can halt the annual trek of the migratory toilets. -SF

Chantilly, VA Westfield's

Clearly, my busy season is over. For those lucky enough to still be on the road, I envy you. My days of wine and roses have become nights of swine and cirrhosis.

-S.F.

Heathman Hotel, Portland OR

The Heathman Hotel requires its doorman to dress up in a ridiculous
Beefeater costume, gaily adorned with a flowered hat. It's unclear
what purpose this enforced emasculation serves except perhaps to
encourage a future armed rampage. Teh gay. -GB

Portland, Election Night

Our sales took a direct hit from the patrons rushing past us to check
out the Mardi Gras type celebration that coalesced in the wake of
Obama's victory, complete with percussion ensemble outside the theater doors. I didn't mind so much- it was strangely gratifying to see so many happy people. Odd because I usually find large groups of happy people an insufferable irritant. -GB

Ace Hotel, Portland, OR

Like in a scene from a 50's detective movie, my room is right next to
the huge buzzing HOTEL sign. -GB

Pittsburgh

A sad indicator of tough economic times. After I purchased the
advertised slice, the store was forced to close. -GB

The Forum, Harrisburg, PA

Our redoubtable mascot, Pilabolus, festooned with the gracious light of indoor Heaven.

-S.F.

more of Ohio, 11-3

I used to think Hell wasn't real.  Then I spent my birthday driving from one end of Ohio to the other.

Crappy Birthday to me
Crappy Birthday to me
Crappy Birthday poor Greg
Someone kill me quickly

-blogreg

Marion, OH 11-2-08

The Marion County sheriff, actual size.  He looks like what would happen if Martin Short and Brad somehow managed to conceive.

-blogreg

Pennsylvania Turnpike, westbound

Just how DO they squeeze their vegetables, one wonders.

-S.F.

Morning in Melrose FL

Eat your hearts out, kids.  Your trusty correspondent fled the Hilton/Sheraton/Clarion/Best Western and spent the night at a friend's glorious house on Lake Santa Fe.  Must ooze out of bed now and park myself on yon Adirondack chair, there to contemplate the flora and fauna.

Akron, OH 11-1

The Quaker Square Inn at The University of Akron Hotel. Because the hotel is a converted silo complex, a factory once owned by Ferdinand Schumacher, a.k.a. "The Oatmeal King," my room was shaped like an oatmeal canister.  Super-lame.

-blogreg

Dawn of the Almost Dead, Glenside, PA

We attempt to hawk our wares amidst the hallucinogenic swirl of the extreme elderly. They infest the area in great numbers and appear every evening to drink the blood of the youthful. Fortunately (or not) that doesn't include me.

-S.F.

Demon of the Polk Theatre!

This was the last picture taken with CK's camera. She displeased the spirits of the Polk Theatre, who rendered her Canon useless once and for all.  RIP

-CK

Sleepless in Greensboro NC

Between the wedding party and the out-of-control rowdies competing in the chess tournament, who could sleep?  Ultimately, the police were called to break up this boisterous bunch!

Hyatt Pittsburgh (Airport)

The Hotel. At the airport. woot. -GB

Still Fort Washington, PA

As though the grim photographic evidence in my previous entry were not enough, allow your eyes to sweep across the medusian nexus of highways and train tracks that provide our immediate environs. Fortunately (or not) the thunder of passing trucks and metallic clanking of late-night freight trains is mostly drowned out by the jubilantly alcoholic celebrations of the wedding party alluded to earlier. Perhaps, if fortune is kind (or not) I will be able to obtain amusing photographs of youths vomiting in the hallway. One can hardly wait.

-S.F.

Fort Washington, PA

Two days right off the highway here. Let's see...we have the gravelly roof, check; loudly idling construction vehicles in the parking lot, check;  additional loudly idling bus, check; clear view of the back of a gas station, check; on the left you can barely discern the tracks that we are so obviously on the wrong side of, and....what's this? Bonus points!  Depressing wedding party gathering amidst the blowing trash in the parking lot! I hope the bride doesn't get any drifting Funyum's wrappers on her train!  Oh, it's a day to remember...!

- S.F.

Omaha, Nebraska

Another World Record on our record breaking tour. GB

Spotted by Mr. Click

I think this sign says it all.

Cawker, Kansas

The World's Largest Ball of Sisal Twine. In. Your. Face! -GB

Count Basie Theatre, Red Bank, NJ

Adjusting focus at the world-famous CBT. Notice the tiny, shaky rope ladder used for access to the left. Damn.

Almost Paradise

Ok, I have to say the view outside my window at The Doral Golf Resort & Spa in Miami is lovely. Hardly anything to complain about, even though Evan's and my lunch, a taco salad, a hambuger & 2 sodas, cost $45.00, before the tip, and we're near the Airport, and the Hotel is directly under the landing path of the planes...THEY'RE NOT TOO LOUD!!! Certainly not as loud as the
"FREIGHT TRAINS" that kept rolling by, blowing their horns late last nightas I tried to fall asleep, and extremely early this morning, 6:00am, 6:20am & 6:40am, at The Terrace Hotel in Lakeland FL!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Still....all in all.... it is a nice view.
Happy Halloween, Weenies!
Mooseboy